I have missed my free therapy.....

I will have to come back later today to write about my crazy last week experience with...Mr. Future politician..boy will I have stories to tell my friends and kids when this guy takes office...well my friends maybe.

Hello world....

I am doing well, I am dating agan..woohoo.  I am currently dating two chaps ....one is an ex athelete so I am leery about him...playa playa...and the other was in a loooooong term relationship which lead to an engagement and home purchase...they broke up in January...and now we are hanging out.  I know his ex too..we arent friends but we did go to the same school....and we speak when we see each other and i used to see them together...but she has a new boyfriend now so it shouldnt matter....you think? 

Other then that things are great, no complaints...I am going to Miami at the end of this week for Memorial Day...I can hardly wait.

ttys

Life is good.  I am so blessed.  I am getting myself on track in so many areas at once...I am filled with renewed vigor, drive and ambition....I am just happy.  We had a phenomenal gathering yesterday. Approximately 25-30 natural hair women and girls got together at a local restaurant and we had a great time.  We had games, lunch, great conversation.  It was just a beautiful day. 

I started a new program at a local university...it was awesome. We had our first two sessions and I met some amazing like minded people. I really look forward to seeing all of them again soon.  I am beginning to flex my mental muscle again.  I have a renewed interest in reading...yall im so excited that I cant decide which book to start first....sick I tell ya.

I am just soo blessed and happy.  Still havent found mister right but ya know what? The positive outlook makes everything look sunny ya know?  I put it on the line to my friend overseas..i said this is how I feel, i know the other lady exists...now what do you want to do?  I am unsure of my feelings but i spelled that out as well....I think we deserve each other....we fit...

Anywho, i will go and i will try to post more often...it is great for reflection...it really is.

Ok...so I quit my fast.  I dont think now...was the right time. I was not hungry but I i WANTED to eat! lol.  I got new furniture yesterday! so exciting, a few problems with it but we will get that taken care of and all will be well...mahoghany....beautiful....barely fitting in my room.lol...I am also getting my dog today!! yay! I am so excited he is two years old and is at the local shelter. He is also a pit bull mix so everyone is scared for us to get him but me,lol.  He has been abused or something because he is very scared of people. 

I am going out tonight wohoo! first fridays art gallerys and then dinner and then the club.  Should be fun.  Anywho..got to work! peace

I really do miss writing in my journal and reading other peoples... I still dont have a life but I cant seem to find time to write in my journal,lol.  My computer is not so secure at home so I am reluctant to log on except for a few seconds to check a few things.  I dont want to do it at work because I dont want them to have the link to my journal.  I am going to try the Master Cleanser.  Ok..I am in the midst of trying the Master Cleanse.  I started today and did well until I got home.  I was craving food so bad. I dont really get hungry so that wasnt my issue but the craving was killing me. So...I ate dinner.  Then I followed the rest of the plan like nothing ever happened,lol.  How can I go on though I have lunch with an old coworker wednesday and dinner with some girls from college on Thursday..how can I not eat!!  I am going to be strong..sit there looking crazy...drinking water and eating air.  I will have to make up some lame excuse as not to alarm people...they may think I am anorexic if I say I am fasting for ten days!

I went to an 80's party this weekend it was fun to dress up. I wore hot pink sneaks and an off the shoulder hot pink shirt with a tank underneath.  I wasnt the "most" 80's there but it was still fun.  I would like to have a 70's themed parties that would be much easier to do.  I could wear my fro wig....or better yet wear my own fro...if my hair could still make one.  It is difficult ot say the least.  It flops when I try to wear a puff. I wont complain too much though because I have a nice twist set with plenty of "hang time" it hangs below my shoulders now.  Anywho thats all for tonight I must get my beauty z's until tomorrow...or whenever...bye journal!!

hey!! i am still alive and kicking.  Things are going pretty good. I cant complain.  I am off work today! woohooo! I am about to go and get a fullbodymassage in about two hours and I am excited.  I have never had one before so I hope it is relaxing.  Hmm...what else....well this guy I used to date is coming home on Sunday for a leave from his job...he works overseas right now.  I hope I get to see him.  I think he may be my husband but I am not sure,lol.  I will attempt to have a serious conversation with him but its hard.  I do funny really well but I dont do serious well at all.    I also met this dude J who is a friend of a friend.  As alot of females do I have overanalyzed the situation and have already visualized our kids and house.  He is a few years older then me but he looks younger then me.  He reminds me of a little cat with whiskers,lol.  Doesnt sound too good I know. He has like a mustache and beard that arent fully developed that he probably should just let go.  But...all that said he is still a cutie!  He asked about "us" hanging out meaning him his friend me and my girls but thats not what I have in mind.  So we shall see where this goes...if anywhere at all. 

Things have been pretty good....my mood is greatly improved. Life is good.  I cannot complain.  Today is Christmas Eve and I havent wrapped a single gift...oops... Theres a coat that is calling my name at the mall...I made a big mistake not getting it last night..I had a 30 dollar off coupon and it was half off but the lines were horrible! 

I have a crazy boy that keeps calling me..I think I offended him though the other night when I called him...after two weeks of not talking to him. He kept sending me text messages and I have to pay for each one so I told him I would be sending him a bill.  I just met the guy and after talking to him one time I didnt really want to talk to him anymore....he proceeded to pester me with calls and texts even though I didnt respond. He was relentless. I was childish I guess because I could have just told him not to contact me anymore but he didnt do anything I just wasnt feeling him. I thought he would just fade from existence but no.....so I feel bad if I hurt his feelings the other night with my disinterested tone but...your persistance makes me think youre unbalanced and I dont do crazy.

Work is ok...I dont love it I dont hate it.....more money is definitely good.

Home is good....Family is good.

No juicy stories....I dont know what I am going to do for New Years...we went balls out the last couple years with hotel and parties in DC but I am not really feeling that this year....I dont know why.

I guess I have a few days to figure it out.

 

Well...last week was very interesting.  I got my hair pressed....wow.  That was the first time I have gone to a hair dresser in two years.....the first time I let someone do my hair in two years....The first time I was robbed by a stylist i two years,lol.  So...they quoted me 37 on the phone nevermind that I said I was natural and all I wanted was a wash/blow dry/curl and I got there she mutilated my poor napps charged me 60 bucks.  I am almost scared to wash it for fear of what I will find.  My hair is bone straight and suprisingly it hangs to about the middle of my back now.  I have been feeling conflicted because I have gotten such a positive response to my straight hair, i know that it is the "norm" so people would like it over my kinks but it still bothers me.  I know it shouldnt but when they say ohh I like your hair like that or you look so pretty with your hair straightened Im like what the heck did I look like with my "real" hair? crap?  I think that boils down to my own insecurities though because I actually feel like my old self with long straight hair.  I feel like this is the old me and my kinks are the new me like we are two different people.  Crazy..i feel like I attract two different groups of guys with my hair straight vs my natural styles. 

I actually participated in a speed dating event this past week.  It was fun.  I didnt really meet anyone but it was fun nonetheless.  There was a "happy" guy that gave me his email address and kept telling me to make sure I emailed him but I really dont think he liked girls so I am not sure why he was there.  I also met another guy who gave me his card and I actually wouldnt mind getting to know him better but we didnt get to talk long and I am not sure if he gave his card to everyone.  He was talking to some other girl when I was leaving so I couldnt continue our conversation.  so....I may call I dont have anything to lose.  Another guy relocated here from another state I would have given him my number but he had this Boston accent that was killing me....If I run into him again I may give him my number because he was cool.  The rest of the guys I wasnt really interested in.   My hair was actually straightened and I ran into a guy I knew and he never really talks to me too much but he was like "oh you look good Beautiful brown sugar" Ok first of all ewwww... and second I was kind of offended because I have been around him on numerous occassions and he barely talks to me.  But he had much more to say now that I had the "sterotypical long hair".  Being a single gal it makes me wonder should I play the role until I find my mate? or do I just do me and wait until whos meant to be comes and he will love and accept my hair in any way i choose to wear it?  I know what the strong black woman response is but...ok...that aside...what about the single black woman who is still out there on the dating scene?   I feel like my natural hair makes a statement but that is the same statement that I verbally made when I had a perm.....to conform or not conform I feel like is the question...but what if this is a better look for me?  Confusion I tell ya. 

Im here, Ive been missing for a while but Im back.  Cant post at work anymore so that limits my web surfing and journal posting capabilities.  I've been contemplating doing something different with my hair. I may get it pressed soon. I need a change.  On a positive note, I did get a raise on Friday it was so freaking unexpected.  They did a survey of the jobs and what they are worth and it bumped my job up another grade.  But my raise was still over what they had to do.  It bumped my yearly salary up by about 3k.  Wooohooo!

I am still working through my troubles and I see that the road is not entirely bleak. I dont see what I will be doing in 5yrs though. That worries me. I used to have a passion and was working toward a goal but right now nothing is calling me. So I am basically living day to day and working project to project at work.  It takes time to get out of a bad period so I am just excepting the journey and looking toward the day I can say I made it through that bad period.

 

 

 

Well....I got home late from work...I wouldnt have stayed if I had of remembered that I have to work late tomorrow....damn...oh well.  I am actually doing ok today.  Things might be looking up...we'll see. I am taking it one day at a time.  I had a decent weekend. I have been getting out and doing stuff instead of staying at home...well most of the weekend anyway...sunday I laid around and cleaned my bathroom so I wouldnt feel like such a bum.....the hardest work I did today at work was getting my review materials together so my supervisor thought i had looked at the crap over the weekend. For real I thought we were meeting tomorrow...ha.  I had a good review. That shit was way overdue at my old job they gave me bs work and mediocre reviews every year. Now that I actually have "real" work I get good reviews. go figure. Anywho..I dont have a life so I am going to see my Monday night line up of shows...