Well...last week was very interesting.  I got my hair pressed....wow.  That was the first time I have gone to a hair dresser in two years.....the first time I let someone do my hair in two years....The first time I was robbed by a stylist i two years,lol.  So...they quoted me 37 on the phone nevermind that I said I was natural and all I wanted was a wash/blow dry/curl and I got there she mutilated my poor napps charged me 60 bucks.  I am almost scared to wash it for fear of what I will find.  My hair is bone straight and suprisingly it hangs to about the middle of my back now.  I have been feeling conflicted because I have gotten such a positive response to my straight hair, i know that it is the "norm" so people would like it over my kinks but it still bothers me.  I know it shouldnt but when they say ohh I like your hair like that or you look so pretty with your hair straightened Im like what the heck did I look like with my "real" hair? crap?  I think that boils down to my own insecurities though because I actually feel like my old self with long straight hair.  I feel like this is the old me and my kinks are the new me like we are two different people.  Crazy..i feel like I attract two different groups of guys with my hair straight vs my natural styles. 

I actually participated in a speed dating event this past week.  It was fun.  I didnt really meet anyone but it was fun nonetheless.  There was a "happy" guy that gave me his email address and kept telling me to make sure I emailed him but I really dont think he liked girls so I am not sure why he was there.  I also met another guy who gave me his card and I actually wouldnt mind getting to know him better but we didnt get to talk long and I am not sure if he gave his card to everyone.  He was talking to some other girl when I was leaving so I couldnt continue our conversation.  so....I may call I dont have anything to lose.  Another guy relocated here from another state I would have given him my number but he had this Boston accent that was killing me....If I run into him again I may give him my number because he was cool.  The rest of the guys I wasnt really interested in.   My hair was actually straightened and I ran into a guy I knew and he never really talks to me too much but he was like "oh you look good Beautiful brown sugar" Ok first of all ewwww... and second I was kind of offended because I have been around him on numerous occassions and he barely talks to me.  But he had much more to say now that I had the "sterotypical long hair".  Being a single gal it makes me wonder should I play the role until I find my mate? or do I just do me and wait until whos meant to be comes and he will love and accept my hair in any way i choose to wear it?  I know what the strong black woman response is but...ok...that aside...what about the single black woman who is still out there on the dating scene?   I feel like my natural hair makes a statement but that is the same statement that I verbally made when I had a perm.....to conform or not conform I feel like is the question...but what if this is a better look for me?  Confusion I tell ya. 

Hi, i was blog hopping and came across your journal. I am feeling the dilema you are going through. I am a single black woman and i feel your pain. I think you need to do what you feel is right. Don't just style your hair because men like it that way. do what makes you feel good inside. If you love your hair natural then wear it natural. You don't want a man that only talks to you because of your hairstyle anyway. You will find a man that like you regardless of what your hair looks like. sorry for the long comment. Stay strong Laters

Happy to see you're still around. Giirl men are something else and so is the beauty standard we have here in America. The only advice I could give you is to do whatever feels right to you. If you feel more secure with straight hair, then you know what to do. However if you feel that wearing your hair a certain type of way is going to attract a certain type of guy well...then you know the right thing to do. It all comes down to how you view yourself and how you feel about yourself. At the end of the day the right man is out there for you and he will love you for YOU not because you have straight hair (or nappy for that matter) but because you're you.

If your hair is natural and you plan on keeping it that way, why disguise it with straight hair? If some dude is too ignorant/shallow...to accept it, why bother with him anyway? Having natural hair is a part of who you are, if he can't accept that, there's no telling what else about you he won't accept.

Use your natural hair as a BS deterrent.